Well here we are, have you ever asked yourself who you are? If not then good for you and maybe from this post you can see some perspective. The truth is I used to be CERTAIN that I knew EXACTLY who I was, I knew who I was, I knew what I wanted, I knew how to get there, and now it’s really anyone’s guess? So how did I get to this point? Well I’m a planner, very type A, over achiever, not an obstacle I can’t climb. Turns out that’s not always the best way to be. I knew exactly what I wanted to be through my younger years, my mom was a “pusher” she required A’s and B’s because C’s are average and you’re not average. So I got A’s and B’s, anything less than the best at sports was not good enough, so I played 10 sports and was amazing at all of them. Once I knew exactly what I wanted to go to college for, I set my sights on that goal, I was going to be unstoppable…… or was I? I applied to 5 or 6 colleges, I had a scholarship to any college I wanted, but the one I really wanted told me they would pay for housing if I went there. Off I went, 18years old and ready to dominate, I had a full ride, honors dorm paid for and all my classes. My mom was a stay at home mom of 2 kids and 2 older step kids and I knew for sure that that wasn’t for me, I wanted to work, I wanted a career. So how did I go from that to an anxiety ridden, depressed mom of four with C-PTSD? Well let me tell you…. You probably guessed it already….. a BOY that’s how. The first guy I ever dated was my senior year and I dumped him on Christmas Eve because he sold weed, and smoked weed….. just no big deal to cut him loose….but that wasn’t the start of my downfall…. It was the second boyfriend…. The one I immediately loved…. The one that ruined me, caused me to be an absolute shell of myself…. And so begins my story on losing myself….. and hopefully this blog will be the start of finding me again. To be continued…. (He’s monitoring me)
